What advice would you give to your teenage self?
Welcomed in corrupted world
We were born in unperfected world. The whole life is full of learning, nobody gave us a manual on how to find our way around the world, and so whatever we became was highly influenced by who was our teachers and our environment. Sometimes we acted according to what we felt because we did not know better. We cannot go back to rectify what we did and start afresh because time is irreversible, therefore, keep thinking and regretting on what we did and what we failed to do is pointless, waste of time and energy, null and void.
Possibilities of goodness
Most often we dwell soo much on past that we fail to discover the much wealth of possibilities ahead. Our history trick us into believing that it has got us forever. What we did in past should not prevent us from being good people today because if the gods expects us to leave our past behind and focus on tomorrow and today, who are we to dwell on what is unnecessary.The holy scriptures states:
“Acts 17:30 And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:”
We let past define us
We are usually defined by what happened in our life’s and so our behavior and thoughts are to greater extent influenced by the traumas we faced. You would be surprised to discover the number of people living a life below what they could have possibly lived because they are always running away from their past, or they are hearing voices from their past. There are people whose actions, thoughts and imaginations are always dictated by what happened rather than what should happen. some of this people are people with guilt and are not able to go beyond their past actions and behaviors. This kind of people are soo entangled on what happened such that it obscures their ability to see what can happen. They can hence let opportunities goes past them or fail to capitalize on assets they have because of their thoughts that were created from past negative experiences, hindering them from moving forward.
As an example, we make decisions out of bitterness because of those that did hurt us. We fail to create good relationships because we want to revenge on every man or woman we meet in life because of that one special person we loved that hurt us so much. We fear to walk boldly in the world because we were abused in childhood and developed self hate. We label ourselves failure because of school grades we got in exams we did many years ago. We live in pity for ourselves because of the parents we lost in your age etc…and the list is endless.
Many of us dwelling in the past
We have soo many people living in the past, there are grownups that are fathers, managers, mothers, presidents, preachers and every kind of professionals that are still stuck in their childhood issues. Leaders that have childhood issues causes suffering to their subjects because they can make decisions based on their fears and insecurity.
Last December I visited relatives and I discovered that at their 50s they are still in pain because of the rejection they received from relatives who did not like them. Their father’s abandoned them when they were still children, their father is already dead but their heart still cries in pain because of what he did over 40 years ago. I discovered this has lead them to make bad decisions, reject people and even mistreat others, some of whom could have made their lives very successful. They could not keep jobs because they have issues with interpersonal relationships. Failing to keep relationships that can help our career and professional growth is too much power to give to our past.
They repel anyone that comes close to them because of what happened beyond their control, whole 40 years ago!. It is amazing how a single incidence can decides what we do and become so many years later. But why should we give single a single occurrence soo much power over us when God of the universe who is our creator does not even expect us to dwell in the past as shown in the holy writings:
“Isaiah 42:9
Behold, the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare: before they spring forth I tell you of them.”
Leave the past to the past
So as we grow up, we should decide and make a strong resolve that we are leaving the past where it belongs and focus on the possibilities that can happen. Don’t focus on who rejected you, there is possibilities of people cherishing you in all other days of your life. You can leave a health life, free from mental traumas of the past; Believe me it can happen. Whatever the trauma, may it be experience of war, violence or death of people close to us, we can start telling our mind that there exists tranquility and peace and beauty of life. There are beautiful things beyond our challenges, pains and things that makes us disturbed. The best things is to start telling ourselves that better things can happen. We can succeed no matter what has happened or is happening. Even if you are in prison, there are chances of you can be free if you believe it long enough, no matter how slight are your chances.
You can let your pains torments you forever and rob you joy of life or you can decide to see the beauty in life and focus goods that can happen. It is to a great extent a matter of choice.
So to my young self, it matters a lot what will happen, it matters very little what happened, focus ahead.
Tell yourself the same things please!